Sharing. It comes naturally to some, but others find it absolutely terrifying. With sharing comes vulnerability. As soon as we talk about our feelings, they no longer exist inside the privacy of our own minds – we release them for others to comprehend and interpret. Sometimes the things we share can fall into the wrong hands, and then we kick ourselves for being so naïve. However, it is only a matter of time before our guard comes down again and we share once more. Whether you like it or not, it’s human nature, and most of the time, sharing does a whole lot of good.

We’re Not Really Strangers is a card game designed specifically to promote open and honest conversation, helping people to connect with one another. I first discovered the game through their Instagram account, which has over 3m followers. The page shares thought provoking questions that will inevitably make you stop and think, even if you don’t intend to. Every time I saw them, I would send them to my friends who would either shy away or answer the question. I was fascinated by the concept and was desperate to get my hands on the game, which is why I was very happy on Christmas Day when my Dad had ordered it for me all the way from the USA.

The game has three levels:

Level 1: Perception, with cards like this:

Level 2: Connection, with cards like this:

Level 3: Reflection, with cards like this:

Essentially, each level gently progresses to make the sharing relaxed and natural. There is no pressure when playing – you can interpret the questions however you see fit, and reveal as little or as much as you like. Understandably, as soon as I received the game, I was desperate to play it with someone. I tried playing it with my siblings, but it became apparent that we knew each other far too well to have any new or profound conversations!

Back in Exeter, for a locked-down term 2 of my final year at university, I was suddenly presented with the perfect opportunity to play. My housemates, who I have only known for about a year, and only properly since September, were just as excited to play as I was. It was my friend’s 21st birthday, and in true lockdown style, we dressed up and got drunk together, trying to make it as enjoyable as possible given the circumstances. We were aware that once the game came out, the tone of the evening would change, and so we saved it until our feet were tired and the music switched from the Party playlist to the Chill playlist.

Before I continue, I must disclose a few things. Firstly, everyone in my house was on the same page – we wanted to play and and we wanted to share. Secondly, we knew the trust between us was strong enough to ensure that playing together was a safe thing to do. Finally, there was a mutual air of respect and compassion in the house, which presented us with the best environment for our first game.

I think we must have started playing at about 1am. Level 1 was really interesting. The game is designed so that you could play it with a stranger, therefore there are many questions like the one shown above. In this round, you ask the question and other people answer it about you. It was fascinating to hear our first impressions of each other, and wonderful to see how those impressions had evolved and changed as we’d got to know each other. This year at university we have spent more time in our student houses than any year before. Although it’s been strange and completely different to how we thought our final year would be, it hasn’t been all bad; we’ve got to know each other on a deeper level that we may not have otherwise had the chance to. Instead of rushing off to campus all the time, or going out clubbing on different days of the week, we’ve been around each other constantly, and it’s definitely improved our communication. The game isn’t all serious, some of the cards inspire silly stories and general observation, and therefore we were laughing as we went along.

Level Two is a step up, as you pick the card and then decide who to direct the question at. This round inspired us to share things that you wouldn’t normally think of sharing around a table, but in the moment we felt very comfortable and it wasn’t weird at all. We cried and we laughed and we discovered things about each other that perhaps we hadn’t known before. What’s also great is just because one person answers the question, it doesn’t mean that the focus is on them the whole time. More often than not, we would go off on various tangents for 20 minutes or so, all sharing stories about the wonderful and difficult parts of our lives. There’s something so special about a group of people listening intently to one another without the need to interrupt, and instead naturally weaving our responses around every story. Empathy was high, compassion was high, and therefore the energy in the room was quite special. I understand that you might be reading this and wondering what on earth I mean, but if you’ve ever had a conversation with someone where you felt like you were both being 100% honest, you’ll know the exact feeling I’m talking about.

Of course, talking can be exhausting and sharing personal things about yourself requires a lot of energy. By about 3am it was clear that the conversation had drawn to a natural close, and we felt it would be unnecessary to move onto Level 3 when the experience had already been so cathartic. We put the cards away and agreed to play again in a few weeks time, after deadlines and the stress that comes with the beginning of a new term. We each went to bed that night feeling sleepy, happy and renewed after a fun evening.

For me, sharing comes quite naturally. I’ve never been able to conceal my emotions and I always feel better after releasing them. There have been times where I’ve wished I kept my mouth shut, and there are people I regret sharing with, but ultimately I believe that sharing helps to keep me grounded. I once read a quote about the fact that our friendships and relationships can only progress when we share personal things with each other, and I really think this is true. To be able to be vulnerable around someone is to allow them to see the most wonderful parts of ourselves. Even if it seems scary, it’s so good for your mind and wellbeing to not keep your thoughts cooped up all the time.

Perhaps you’ve read this post and considered your relationship with sharing, or perhaps you’ve decided you prefer your life as a closed book. Either way I want to leave you with this, to interpret as you wish: What do you feel it is that’s holding you back?